Friday, November 28, 2008

kisah sang robot jadian.


ini kisah benar.buat main2.otak aku ligat berpusing.kerja melambak lagi.tp aku rasa aku dah tak boleh nak handle.setiap hari aku dihujani dengan bebanan kerja.bukan aku merungut.tapi aku pasti aku juga perlukan rehat macam orang lain.aku tak salahkan kerjaya yang aku pilih ini.aku bersyukur dengan rezeki yang aku dapat hingga ke hari ini.

aku seekor robot.aku samakan diri aku dengan robot.kerana apa? kerana setiap hari hidup aku amat terkawal.kurang bebas juga.pagi bangun tidur pukul 7.30 am, mandi bersiap hingga ke pukul 8.15 am.kemudian keluar dari rumah untuk menunggu teksi.sekitar 15 minit baru muncul teksi (itu pun kalau bertuah).sampai office dalam masa 5 minit.syukur tempat kerja tidak jauh dari rumah.sampai depan pintu office, swap tag (nanti dia kuar bunyik "tiiiitt").kemudian masuk office, duduk depan pc.on pc.on air cond.on lampu.lepas tu bukak file.lepas tu buat keje sampai pukul 10 am.kemudian turun makan for breakfast.naik jam 10.30 am.buat kerja lagi sampai pukul 1.00 pm turun lunch.aduihhh! penat menaip...hahaha~ pukul 2.00 pm tepat aku dh kena ada di tempat duduk mengadap kerja lagi sampai jam 6.00 pm.balik rumah.mandi.tidur.penat.

*untuk keesokkan hari nya korang cuma perlu ulang semula ayat2 kat atas tadi*

aku terkawal.aku tak menafikan yang kerja adalah untuk dapat habuan pada akhir bulan.tapi percaya tak kalau aku kata tak sampai dua minggu duit gaji aku akan habis.tolak itu, tolak ini.sewa rumah.etc.ini belum ada kereta lagi.belum berkahwin lagi.belum ada anak.tensi! :(
aku sebenarnya pun tak tau mcm mana nak buat dengan life aku ni.apa yang aku perlu lakukan ek? tak sama dengan zaman belajar.duit abes je "troot..troot..mummy boleh ke masuk duit belanja minggu ni?".tapi zaman tu dah abes.zaman minta famili tanggung makan minum.5 tahun belajar tak guna kalau masih makan duit famili.tensi! aku ni dah ada perasaan malu.malu yang menggunung kalau ttba minta duit famili.kalau terpaksa pun minta tolong abang kakak je.

so adakah sekarang ni aku berpura2 gembira? 
(kenapa dalam kepala aku ni mcm banyak soalan nak keluarkan? aneh.)
aku tak pura2.so far aku happy.
happy dengan life aku.kerja aku.kawan2 aku.cuma entah la.mungkin ini adalah kerana otak aku perlukan rehat.
aku penat.aku letih.
aku mati.
aku seekor robot.

p.s: aku kena pegi bercuti.no question.fullstop.tq!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

kepada 'dia' yang berkenaan!

what's wrong with you???
ingat lu sorang ke yang bagus sangat!!!
meluat arh!!! ;(
kalau rasa diri tu dah bagus...jgn nak campur hal orang lain.
buat hal sendiri! 
stupid!! 


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

.sukan baik untuk kesihatan.

Ini team futsal saya.
masa tu semua gila filem 'Gol & Gincu'.hihi
tapi sekarang...jarang sangat bersua muka.
malah ada yang dah berkahwin pun.. :)
masing2 sibuk dengan hal sendiri2.begitu juga saya.
cuma alangkah indahnya kalau saya dapat putar semula masa saya dgn kawan2 saya ni.

:(

BYU-UTAH GAME

As you can imagine, the game wasn't so fun to watch. But Amber and Kevin came over to watch it with us and that was so fun. Amber taught us this "game" to play with pictures, so I thought I'd post them too. There are none of me, cause I really couldn't do it.


Salmon for the girls, brauts for the guys.




Kev's not bad, but just wait...


Now Amber, she just looks cute trying :)
This is what most of Amber's attempts turn out. It was hard not to laugh!


Pete was definitely the best. Big mouth, what can I say?
Can't help but laugh!

cam whore :)





ye.
saya dan kawan2 seopis saya sgt gile bergambar.
maaf la.
tapi saya dan kawan2 saya ni tak dapat nak mengawal nafsu untuk bergambar sakan.
owh.. :p

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Happy Turkey Day

I had planned to write more and of course read more but the last few days have gotten away from me.

So to all my Bloggy friends have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving, I will catch up to all of you next week and I look forward to all of your Thanksgiving stories!

JUst FoR HiM....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY DEAR HUBBY,EN. SHAMSUL!!!!



ni adalah present yg aku beli kt kedai... kecik je tp byk makna!!!!!


today aku n nina are making cupcakes...just utk makan sndiri and present for my hubby!!! quite fun and interesting bila together making decoration for da cake.. mcm2 rupa and corak!!! nk tergelak pun ada gak bila tgk decoration yg tersilap sbbnye bila dh salah buat ape lg kitorang pun ngappppp masuk mulut. hehehe..


ni lah dia hasil keje yg dpt diselamatkn setelah beberapa cupcakes yg telah di design selamat masuk ke dlm mulut nina n yang plus mikail!!!!


this year birthday hubby aku,just bg cake je,nothing special sbb yg 'special' skali dh dpt before his birthday!!!hahaha...x yah tanye arrr ape dia,sendiri mau ingat lahhh... 

rasa seronok plak bila dpt uat sumthing special utk org yg kita sayang!!!  rasa diri ni lebih dihargai selalu.. THANKS SAYANG FOR EVERYTHING!!!

until here....outtttt.....



Monday, November 24, 2008

Tomorrow I will give thanks today I will gripe!!!!!


OK I know it's the week of Thanksgiving but before I give thanks I need to gripe just a bit then I will be able to be Thankful!

Gripe #1- to the women on the 13th floor of my office, I understand the need to squat really I get it, but if you feel so inclined to squat vs. using the toilet seat cover that is provided please *^$*(^$* wipe the seat after you go. Unlike our male counterparts our pee aiming ability is not as precise in the squat position.

Gripe #2 to the driver of the Mazda Protege that I see a about once a week on my 36 mile drive into work go to Verizon, ATT or whoever you have your phone with and buy a blue tooth because clearly you are unable to drive with your head half cocked holding the phone while talking and driving, better yet since I have seen your driving just put the freaking phone down.

Gripe #3 Kids mommy loves you more then anything in this world but if I find one more piece of food in your rooms that looks like I should have the hazmat team come in I will be forced to start doing things I don't want to do (mommy speak for I will do something I just don't know what yet) So quit coming downstairs for a mid night snack or at the very least leave it in plain view for me to pick it up!

Gripe #4 2 more weeks of hubby non weight bearing and on crutches .... enough said

Gripe #5 When the bathroom door is locked that is not the time to pick a fight with your sibling because unless I hear I am going to kill you I am not exiting the bathroom till I take care of my business.

Gripe #6 To the Office Jerk, I know you are trying to be funny but your humor is lost on me and others because it is not funny and putting it in " " doesn't make it any funnier actually it is just plain damn annoying.

Gripe #7 mom please please stop asking me if I think going to NY for Thanksgiving is a good idea since:
1) Dan is on crutches and can't drive a lick
2) it could snow on my drive up there
3) I will miss black Friday sales
4) There will be a house full of people
5) I will miss my traditional tree putting up day (day after thanksgiving) because I will be with "them"
I get that you don't want me to go but the decision has been made and I am going so stop bugging me!!!

So I think I have it all out of my system I am sure something will come to me as continue to go about my day! If you have gripes feel free to leave as comments LOL :)

Not Update Yet!!!!

still mengumpul citer latest... so just wait until i update my blog!!!! busy...busy...busy...

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Eagles landed and I got to meet them!!!!

Ok so Humpty Dumpty came through surgery fine! He is being the model patient for the moment! I am sure that will change as we approach days 3, 4 and 5 of recovery as I know he is bored out of his mind.
Unfortunately he was not able to attend The Eagles concert last night which he had planned for a friends birthday (he was the one who put the whole thing together) to add to that one of the folks going with us was able to score all of us backstage passes. Yes, you read right! I was backstage with The Eagles!!!!! The drummer, Scott, was our sponsor and everyone in the band was super nice to us, we were so star stuck that the first few people we met we all forgot to take out our cameras. We were able to see everything backstage, wardrobe, catering, tour buses and of course the stage itself! I was in awe standing on the stage before the concert looking out into the sea of seats, talk about a rush. Good lord I think I would have peed my pants if I had to stand there and sing to a packed house liek they do!

However I am paying for my late night today! I was a good girl and got up to do my run, tend to the kids,Dan and then headed on to work. By 2pm I fully expect to be face down on my desk because of fatigue and due to the food coma I will be in as a result of the Thanksgiving Pot Luck we are having at the office today.

No big plans for the weekend, hopefully it is nice and cold so I can build a fire and snuggle up on the couch with hubby and the kids all weekend. Enjoy your weekend!

This is only half of the guitars they had backstage

Checking out the Drums!!!

The bands song list for the night

Us gals with the drummer Scott

THE DUAL!!!

The big game is almost here. Never before have the ties of marriage been tested like they will be this year :) Our first rivelry game married, I was able to go to the game with my dad to see the Utes slaughtered, while Adam watched it with his family. This year I'm not so lucky. With the game up at Rice Eccles, that leaves me and Pete, both at home, watching the game TOGETHER!!! Yikes, this will be interesting. I hope Pete can take the embarrassment of losing when the Cougars come out with the victory! By the way, everyone is invited to our house to watch it high-def on our new plasma. Especially BYU fans since I will be the only one of the group cheering on the Cougs tommorrow! We'll see who comes out on top. But Utes, beware. You might be doing really well, but watch out for the last quarter when the Cougar fans get on their knees and get ANOTHER miracle :)
So Rise and shout the COUGARS are out along the trail to fame and glory!
Rise and Shout our cheers will ring out as we unfold our victory story!
On we go to vanquish the foe for Alma Mater's sons and daughters!
As we join in song in praise of you, our faith is strong!
We'll raise our colors high in the blue and cheer our Cougars of BYU!!!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tagged.....Again....and Again!

Whoever made up these things has A LOT of time on their hands! Thanks Amber!

I've Been Tagged****8 things

Rules: 1) Post rules on your blog
2)Answer the six "8" items
3)Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving them a comment

8 Favorite TV shows
1-House
2-The Office
3-Rachel Ray
4-Shark Wars
6-Trading Spaces
7- Flip that house
8-What Not to Wear

8 Things I did yesterday
1-Went to Work
2-Bought groceries at Harmons
3-Made dinner
4-Bought thread for a baby blanket
5-Watched "The Wedding Date"
6-Finished my book
7-Went to bed early
8-Took a long, hot shower

8 Things I look forward to
1-The weekend!
2-Thanksgiving
3- Buying a house
4- Making caramel apples
5- Sleep
6- Seeing the Twilight movie
7- Christmas season
8- My brother coming into town with his new girlfriend

8 Favorite Restaurants
1-Mimi's Cafe
2- Paradise Bakery
3- Cafe Rio
4-Noodles & Co.
5-Fuddruckers
6- Olive Garden
7- China Isle
8-Bonsai Teppenyaki

8 Things on my wish list
1-I wish I had a house
2-I wish I had a great pair of jeans
3-I wish I could go to Europe
4-I wish I could go on a shopping spree!
5-I wish I don't get sick this winter
6-I wish everyone was happy
7-I wish I counld find the perfect couch for cheap!
8-I wish I was a better photographer

8 people to TAG
1-Chantel
2-Britt
3-Cristl
4-Nicole
5-Heather
6-Tina
7-Caitlyn
8-? What can I say? Don't know that many people with blogs!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Humpty dumpty is being put back together....



OK admit it the title made you smile! I'm sure my hubby would not like to be referred to as Humpty Dumpty but the title is fitting since it seems like we are putting him back together after 20 years of the Army beating him up. Since Dan is getting out of the military we are focusing on getting all his aliments fixed, one of them is his ankle. I don't claim to know all the technical stuff that he is having done to his ankle today lets just say it sounds like rooter router for the ankle. He will be on crutches for the next week 4 weeks then a walking boot for the next 3. So can you guess who will be making the 6 hour drive to NY next week! :)

So while he has his feet up I will have my hands full! Please forgive me for not commenting on blogs for the next few days but do know that I am m reading them. Without my daily reading of blogs I think I might just loose my mind. I will post an update later in the week, thanks for all your thoughts love and prayers!

Please give me some ideas for movies as Humpty Dumpty is going to be watching a lot of them in the coming weeks I am afraid!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

.rooney and the full effect.


rooney and the full effect.
cool tak nama band ini?
sebelum ini mereka cuma bermain di gig2 kecil sahaja.so far untuk kumpul peminat dan music followers.bukan hal senang.tidak mengapa...cuba pelahan2.betul.

terdiri daripada 4 lelaki dan seorang wanita, mereka cuba mempertahankan konsep rock alternatif dengan mengambil inspirasi daripada musik2 band dari luar negara.band ini telah di tubuhkan pada disember 2006 oleh rizi (guitarist) yang kebetulan belajar di dalam jurusan musik di Oklahoma bersama teman rapat beliau iaitu Jon (drummer asal band ini).mula mencari vokalis apabila pulang ke tanah air.kemudian mereka bertemu dengan mafia (bassist) yang ketika itu sessionist untuk band 'The Unplugged Pin'.
komitmen terhadap kerja telah membuatkan Jon mengambil keputusan mengundurkan diri drpada band ini.
band ini kemudiannya berehat seketika kerana kekurangan ahli.tetapi rizie dan mafia masih aktif bermain di gig2 kecil sekitar Kuala Lumpur.

pada tahun 2007, mafia telah memperkenalkan rakannya iaitu fahmi (drummer) dan afiq (vokalis) dan akhirnya mereka bertemu dengan kerr (keyboard).
maka lengkaplah rooney and the full effect untuk menjadi sebuah band.ketika artikel ini ditulis mereka masih dalam proses mixing lagu-lagu baru untuk album ke-2 yang akan berada di pasaran pada akhir tahun ini.

mengungkap kembali kata2 rizie semasa interbiu dijalankan ;
"bukan senang nak berjaya.untuk berada di atas kita perlu berada di bawah..."

maka benarlah kini, band ini kian mendapat perhatian.bukan sahaja lagu2 mereka yang popular tetapi kerana semangat perjuang mereka dalam industri musik tanah air.semoga band ini terus sukses.



p.s: hihihi..wa berangan! ;p peace~

dia.

dia
saya suka.

dia
saya ceria.

dia
saya ketawa.

dia
kadang-kadang saya berduka.

dia
kadang-kadang saya mencuka.

dia
kadang-kadang saya kecewa.

dia...
cinta hati saya. :)
>3


Monday, November 17, 2008

New Project?

I want to experiment on something new. Adam is always doing side jobs to make extra money and I want to! So, I want to start a blog with posts on everything from homemade facials to cute new crafts. We're going to start building projects and selling them on KSL, from cute frames to shelves, and Pete wants to eventually make a bed to sell! Any ideas? If you have ever wanted something custom made (baby bows, wall frames, bath soaps, whatever!) let me know! At this point, I just need ideas of what to do. So many women are doing the same things (baby bows and tutus) and as cute as they are, I want to do something different. So leave me any ideas you might have, ANY! Thanks guys :)

Drat! I've been busted!!


So I usually come into work and write my posts first thing in the morning then polish them up and post them. I of course don't do this to the detriment of my work as that is what they pay me to do. So yesterday I write my post about the race then go to google pictures to get the pictures I am going to post and I get an error message that I have been blocked because my administrator doesn't allow this site, some garble about personal storage blah blah blah. Oh well I guess I just need to plan all picture posts at home now. Of course now I am curious what others sites we are blocking now.

On the same busted note, my husband stumbled onto my blog a week or so ago, he knew that I blogged as I tell him all the funny and not so funny stories you tell me. So he announces that he has seen my blog and that he thinks I am a good writer, he goes on to say that he thinks my stories are put together well and he could see why people would be interested and would come back on a regular basis to see what I have written. I was shocked!! I think this man is ubber intelligent and for him to say to me I think your blog is good and better yet your writing is good, blew me away.

So what have you been busted for lately??

Another 10K down but it wasn't pretty...

So the morning started off cold and rainy perfect weather for a run.....NOT. I was OK the first mile and a half, then it hit me or I hit it, the wall. I was kicking and cursing myself for the next mile and half to mile three, from there I was just hoping to finish.

I didn't train like I should have to prepare for this race, I got cocky and thought "oh I'll get a couple of runs in before the next 10K and I should do fine." Boy was I wrong, I struggled through the race, between the lack of training, the blood blister at mile 4, the need to go to the bathroom from mile 5 and the hacking due to the upper respiratory bug I had had for the last 2 weeks, which by the way I think I left on the course, I know TMI, Saturday was not my race day.

So what did I do after the race, I tended to my wounds and took a nap, when I awoke I signed up for the 10K Jingle Bell run here in DC on the 14th of December. I know I am crazy but I need to prove to myself that I can get a better time then 1:06 and 1:12. So I have announced to the family that I will need to lose at least 5lbs hopefully 10, train like I mean it and last but not least finish within an hour. If I do 2 out of the 3 I will be happy.

So here are the pictures from race day, be carefully they aren't pretty!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Psst.......quiet down



OK so I will admit I am not usually the one to take my daughter Lauren to dance class, in the beginning for one reason or another I was out of town or unavailable. So for the last 2 weeks I have had the pleasure of taking Lauren to dance class and for the last 2 weeks I have had to endure the conversations of a volume challenged mother. . She is louder then loud! We parents sit in a 10X5 room with no carpeting, little on the wall besides trophies, to say it's echoey is an understatement, add to the fact there are girls coming and going on the half hour it makes for a loud area normally.

So there I am week 2 of enduring this, trying to talk to my 4 year old who is using his Spanish/English computer and I can barely hear what he is saying to me. I look at the other mothers who roll their eyes or look at the ceiling hoping that volume challenged mom's conversation will end soon. Not likely since I think she takes this time sans kids to catch up on her chit chat time 9whihc for the record I don't have a problem with just not at the top of your lungs). I couldn't take it anymore something in me snapped and I walked over to her and in my best teacher voice asked "could you talk a little softer, we can all here your conversation" while gesturing in that teacher like way with my hand to keep it down.

She looked at me and pointed to the door...to the door to the outside. Um, excuse me I think, are you asking me to go outside so I don't have to hear your loud cell phone conversation?? RUDE!!! I smile my fake cheesy, I'm pissed off at you, smile and go sit down. A mother next to me says thanks, but informed me that this mother had been doing this for years. All I could think of is that Lauren will be doing dance for years and I can't listen to this every single week. So I sit and stew and stare down the volume challenged mom on the cell phone who could care a less.

She finishes her conversation and says to me, "if I'm too loud you should go outside." I am taken aback by her comment to me and respond "Well, your volume while on the phone is extremely loud and we would really all prefer not to hear your conversation." Another parent chimes in "maybe you should go outside, majority wins and the majority of us would prefer not hear your conversations." Yeah I have back up! Of course volume challenged mom sat silently for the whole 5 minutes left of class fondling her phone as she clearly couldn't wait to get back on it to tell the world how mean us dance parents were to her.

So here is my little public service announcement (or pet peeve venting) when using cell phone in a confined place respect others we don't want to know what you are having for dinner or how pissed off you are at your family, so please save us all the embarrassment and lower your voice the person on the other end will still be able to hear you, your cell ohone is not a tin can that you need to yell into!

Happy Friday, hope the weekend is great fun, I am headed to Quantico Marine base for a Turkey trot 10k and after I have recovered either late Saturday or early Sunday we are headed to see Madagascar, the kids are so excited!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Another Race


So I have another race this weekend (Saturday), however I do not plan to race for time as my foot is still giving me trouble and I really haven't run more the 3 miles since the Marine Corps race a couple of weeks ago. I am bumming because I thought by staying off it for a good week things would improve but today after my 2 mile run it was aching again. I am never one to quit and not racing to me would be quitting so I will go and do my best even if that is a walk. I do think I have been bitten by the runners bug though, because I feel like a big blob when I don't get my runs in at least 2 a week.

I know you are all aware that it is November but for some reason it hit me today and it made me realize that 10 months ago I started to work out to get healthier. Since Jan I have lost 22lbs and since August I have started to run at a bit of a competitive pace. So I am living proof that you can change your life and your health so just think of me when you make those New years resolutions!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

love.life

true love is when you find someone you can imagine yourself growing old with. someone you can love even if they hurt your heart. someone you can cry with, have tons of fun with,but most of all someone you love with...  

you live in my heart
i won't break it apart
even if it makes me to cry
i will love you till i die.

blood doesn't flow in my vein
ur thought flows in it as a pain
i may not be the one for you
i would have still loved you
even if i knew.

my love is not written on sand
for the waters to wash away
it is written in my heart to stand
all the difficulty that comes its way.

you still live in my eyes
even after seeing all the goodbyes
you can go to any place you desire
the dream of being together will
always burn like a fire...

i still smile looking into the life of yesterday
to wipe away the tears that you bring everyday
nights seems to be getting longer & longer
with thought of you getting stronger & stronger.

my love may not be one happy chapter
like the saying "they lived happily ever after"
by loving, i have lost everything to you
what i still possess is just the memories
of once being with you...

Yesterday was a good day!

As you know I work outside the home and I leave pretty early in the morning, so getting my kids off to school is a rarity for me. Normally I am hustling out the door as they are rubbing the sleep from their eyes while sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Ms. Celia to finish making breakfast. On occasions I take them to school like when I am on my way out of town on a business trip or if there is a doctor's appointment I am heading to. But rarely if ever do I get to drop off my kids come home do some household chores then go back to pick them up from school! I don't get to see and hear the excitement in their eyes or their voice as they hop in the car at the kiss and ride. Yesterday I did! I know some of you are rolling your eyes saying it really isn't all that, but it is when you don't get to do it on a regular basis. Not only did I experience it I loved it, I basked in it! There was my 6 year old as she walked into the house and flung off her shoes and headed upstairs asking "can a watch some TV before dinner." "Sure" I say I then add "Would you like a snack? How about some popcorn?" to which the reply was an enthusiastic "yes". I snuggled up to my 2 little rug rats and enjoyed every single minute of it thinking to myself, this is heaven.

We had some fun activities at both of the kids schools yesterday. Jackson's preschool had Dad's day since they are not in school in June they don't want to short change the Dad's so they selected Veteran's day to celebrate Fathers day since most in the DC area have off due to the holiday. Below is Dan and the little man in the hat that all the dads had the honor of wearing.

Then is was off to Lauren's school for an assembly honoring our Veteran's parents were asked to please come in uniform if they were currently serving in the military which Dan did. when Dan walked into the Gym you could hear Lauren squeal "that's my dad" I wanted to cry right then and there! We went on to have lunch with Lauren and her classmates and what a special time it was, I know all to soon Lauren will not think it is cool to have Dad at school and but watching her introduce us to everyone was very special to me.
I hope you thanked a veteran yesterday, I know I did, but then again I thank him everyday ! :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Meme ....it's been a long time

Today is a holiday and I am off attending the festivities that the kiddies have at school so here's a Meme I hope you will like.

Tagged
Tagged by Karerrwoman: http://kareerwoman.blogspot.com/

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others, I was not able to answer in one word

Where is your cell phone? Purse
Where is your significant other? Dr.
Your hair color? Dirty Blonde
Your mother? Annoying
Your father? Dead
Your favorite thing? my kids
Your dream last night? none
Your dream/goal? to be successful
The room you’re in? Office
Your hobby? Sleep (when I can get it)
Your fear? Failing
Where do you want to be in 6 years? COO of my company
Where were you last night? Home
What you’re not? talented
One of your wish-list items? beach home
Where you grew up? Alexandria
Last thing you did? went to the bathroom
What are you wearing? polo Shirt and khakis
Your TV? Off
Your pet? cats
Your computer? Dell
Your mood? blah
Missing someone? Yes
Your car? BMW
Something you’re not wearing? glasses
Favorite store? Macy's
Your summer? to short
Love someone? Yes
Your favorite color? ?
When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
Last time you cried? Tuesday

Who's getting tagged???
Courtney
Stephanie
April
Dawn
Jocasta
Kelli
Michelle

Monday, November 10, 2008

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde


I have closure on Thanksgiving plans, however the way I got there is just downright strange.

As I have told you my mom and I had a huge knock down drag out verbal brawl a week ago tomorrow. I did not call her all week because I didn't want to get into the same argument again with her. So on Thursday I emailed her with some Black Friday Ad links that she had asked for the previous weekend, I heard nothing from her. Keep in mind this is a woman I normally talk to every other day so on Friday at 4pm I was leaving the office and I emailed her saying I assume you don't want to have dinner with us tomorrow since I haven't heard from you all week, please let me know. Well, within 40 minutes I had an email asking what time to be at my house. I quickly emailed back on my blackberry "come to my house at 6pm."

So Saturday I get the boys off to Philly bright and early and Lauren and I start our weekend by running some errands all the while I am thinking "is my mom going to come over and pick another fight with me, this time with my kid there?" Why did she not mention anything in her email about Thanksgiving and basically act like everything was normal?"

My mom arrives at 5:45 (she is never late and always early) She says "there is something in the car for you, can you please go get it." Baffled I go down to her car and there is a small refrigerator for my workout room in her back seat. She says Merry Christmas! Now I am totally perplexed, I tell her she shouldn't have and proceed to bring the fridge inside at her request. We head out for dinner, we have a nice dinner and conversation, keep in mind I am waiting for all hell to break loose. Nothing..... we get back to the house she gathers her things and then says thanks for the black Friday ads, I say sure and add that I'm not impressed with what I have seen so far in teh way of ads, she says "well what should it matter since you won't be here anyway." Without losing a beat I say "yes, you're right but I can always go online in NY if there is something I really must have." With that she kisses Lauren good-bye says her good-byes to me and heads out.

Strange.... Strange.... Strange.... this is the same woman who was being venomous and saying things like I hope you enjoy your big Thanksgiving while I am here alone, and what kind of child leaves their only parent alone on the holidays. I just don't get it.

I will say that Friday after receiving some advice from a blog reader (Kristen's mom at Loving Our Simple Life) I decided that I was going to NY regardless of what my mom said or did because it was the right thing to do for my family and it was what I wanted. So Gail thank you so very much for your kind wise words you helped me to feel at ease with my decision.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Friday Hodge Podge


Someone who reviewed my blog and it's content months ago told me to get rid of my Friday Hodge Podge because it was too hokie, well I have resurrected it today because I am in a Hodge Podge kind of mood!

So on the Thanksgiving front thanks for all your kind words and suggestions, more then once I was told to invite my mom along to NY, great idea except my mom can't stand my in-laws. I have not talked to my mom since Tuesday morning when our conversation blew up in my face. I have sent her some emails and we were supposed to have dinner together with Lauren Saturday night since the boys are out of town this weekend, still I have heard nothing. I guess I could pick up the phone and ask but honestly I don't want to get into another verbal fist fight with her. I am 90% there on just going to NY for Thanksgiving and telling her that is the way it is. It is just that 10% of me that knows this is a HUGE line to draw in the sand and could very well end all relations for good. Stay tuned.

On a happier note my hubby has found a job!!! Dan is retiring from the Army after 20 years of dedicated service to our country. His official retirement is the end of January but he is on what they call terminal leave as of the end of this month. I am very proud of him, I know this process was not an easy one and he is still struggling to determine if he made the right choice in accepting the offer that he did. I am pretty sure he made the right move though.

Work- well the Jerk has been pretty well behaved but he is still a pain in the arse! I have finally gotten him to play nice in my sandbox which selfishly is all I really cared about. I feel sorry for those that will encounter him once I have used him for what I need ..... sounds horrible huh? you all know I am really not that way! Just today I had someone stop by my office and ask "what do you think about the Jerk? I think he is arrogant" this person says before I could utter a word! At least I know it isn't just me! :)

This weekend is chalked full of activities, Dan is headed to PA for a family members 100th birthday! Pretty impressive huh? He and the little man are going to take a road trip together and have some quality guy bonding time. Meanwhile I will be with Lauren at her final soccer game and the end of season party, followed by possibly having dinner with my mom. Sunday I plan to organize some of my closet before it swallows me whole!

So what is on your agenda for the weekend? Good stuff I hope!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It happened just like I thought it would…

So I mentioned last week that I was going to talk to my mother about the fact that we were going to go to NY to see Dan's parents for the Thanksgiving holiday. I had that talk with my mom on Sunday, it went well too well. I know my mom and she doesn't roll over when it comes to things like this. So of course this morning when I call her to ask her if she has voted or is going to go out and vote the conversation turns to Thanksgiving. I can't repeat the entire conversation word for word but here is how it started.

Mom: So have you and Dan decided that you are going to NY for Thanksgiving?
Me: No we really haven't had a chance to talk about it with work, his job search and the kids etc.
Mom well do you also plan to see them in Jan? (we go up in Jan to have our own personal Christmas since we do Christmas in our house for the kids)
Me: I think so, why not?
Mom: Why would you go up in Nov then again in Jan?
Me: Because we always go in Jan!
Mom: Well, I hope you think of me all alone when you are sitting at their table. But IA m sure you won't because you will be with your big family gathering which is what you want!
Me: big sigh

See this is where it begins I get berated because I, for the second year in a row last year invited someone other then her to Thanksgiving dinner. She in turn decided not to show up because it wasn't a family only event. Family only would consist of my mom me Dan and the kids. It is never enjoyable and inevitably I end up getting into some nasty discussion 2 days after about something that was said or not said or food that was prepared or whatever, not my ideal way of spending Thanksgiving. Growing up it was only she and I at the table and I always longed for the big gathering. I have shared that with her and I get responses back like well I am sorry you had such a terrible childhood.

Our conversation continued after my big sigh and really got us nowhere as a matter of fact it ended up that I finally after 7 years purged the fact that I was crushed when she told me she would not be my built in babysitter while I was pregnant with my first born. She has held true to that…… but it is important to know that comment meant a lot more then just what was said. It meant don't look to me to be hands on, nor the one to bail you out if you get in over your head. I was crushed, this was her grandchild she was talking about and she had already taken a stance before even meeting this precious child. It was just another one of the many comments over the years that my mom has made to me that can never be taken back or explained away. I have had my mom call me a b*tch, a whore, slut, no go for nothing kid, and the best is the constant guilt of the fact that she had to give up everything to raise me by herself when my Dad left and that is why she has nothing today. I have tried so hard all my life to make her proud of me to try to do things for her and help her and nothing nothing I do seems to be enough. I am always the one who is wrong.

This morning if I heard it once I heard it 25 times to "enjoy Thanksgiving at their table and think of me alone." It is a guilt trip I know that but I am tired of it. Frankly the fact that my husband has graciously allowed us to spend every holiday with my mom and not with his family so that my mom wouldn't be alone is one of the most loving things he could do. However I am now keenly aware that he has had his fair share of guilt and remorse for not being with them for any holidays in the last 10 years and the fact is they are not getting any younger and I would hate myself if something were to happen and he wasn't there that one last time because of me.

I am devastated that my mom acts the way she does and has so much ill will towards my other side of the family, but it is time I put my family first and do what I believe is right and best for me and my family. That to me means going to NY for Thanksgiving and taking a long hard look at my relationship or lack of one with my mom.

As you can imagine I am emotional because I know that my choice may very well end up being the choice that dissolves any relationship I have with my mother which will inevitable end with her being out of my life for good.

I need help and guidance here ladies, I have blogged for a year and some of you know me pretty well. How would you handle things? If you need more background to voice that opinion I am happy to share as I think it is somewhat of a release for me to do so. Please give me your input good or bad as I feel I am drowning here.

If you haven't done so please go out and vote, I was at the polls at 5:15 this morning and made my voice heard, I only wish I could have taken my daughter with me to help her better understand the process, I guess I will save that lesson for the next election.

Monday, November 3, 2008

jiwa kosong.

jiwa tak berapa stabil hari ini.
kenapa ye? ntah.
saya cuma nak bye dgn nana je sekarang ni.
saya nak cerita ttg perasaan saya sekarang.
saya sedih.
saya tak tentu arah.
saya kosong.

*bye dan nana, cepat terbang datang ke sini jumpa wa..wa rindu korang..:(

Halloween Pumpkins!


Here are our pumpkins this year! We did them on Halloween Eve and Adam didn't feel like posing for the camera, so only pumpkins this year :) Can you tell which one is Adam's? He hid what he was carving until he was done, so I wouldn't oppose to the UTE representation on our front porch. So to this I say, GO COUGS!!!!

Brynlee is 1 month!


Since I can't be a doting aunt to my cute new neice all the way out in San Antonio, I have to show her off to everyone I can! Here she is, one month old already. Lucky girl has such big, beautiful eyes!

other side

membaca tulisan salah seorang kawan iaitu wani di blog nya (senikatawati.blogspot.com) yang dipost baru2 ini, betul2 membuatkan aku terfikir...apa yang aku dapat sekarang adalah apa yang telah aku jalani satu ketika dulu.aku masih lagi terkenang masa mula2 masuk belajar di uitm dulu.memang pelik.tapi aku suka.pelik kerana aku tak pernah tahu yang bidang ini ada di uitm dan suka kerana aku salah seorang yang dipilih masuk ke dalam fakulti ini.bercerita mengenai zaman belajar aku, memang penuh dengan gelak ketawa.aku happy dgn kawan2 dan buku pelajaran.aku fikir2 belum pernah sekali aku rasa menyesal memasuki arena ini.masuk ke tajuk yang wani ke utarakan, betul.benar.course yang aku ambil kerap di salah erti oleh orang sekeliling.aku sendiri ada pengalaman di hina.oleh siapa? kawan sekolah menengah yang berjaya menjadi doktor, engineer etc...even keluarga sebelah emak, sebelah ayah.pelik katanya bidang yang aku  pilih.ntah...

A : lepas ni jadi pelakon la kau...(ketawa)
B : apa? belajar joget mak yong? betul ke kau ni?
C : prof razak tu pensyarah kau ye? filem ntah apa2...
D : besok2 kau nak keje apa dalam bidang ni? pengarah jauh sekali...

tengok la tu...cetek nya fikiran manusia.tapi tak tau la kenapa waktu tu aku hanya diam.diam dan diam.tak melawan.tak terjerit.tak buat apa2.kerana aku rasakan apa yang mereka katakan itu akan jadi doa kah? ntah..

bermula dengan fakulti di stadium shah alam, duduk di kolej mawar kemudian berpindah ke seroja di dalam kampus.menaiki bas uitm yang di sediakan oleh pihak U bukan la sesuatu yang menggembirakan.naik bas semestinya bersempit.tapi itu bukan la yang memeritkan.apa yang menyakitkan adalah bila student dari fakulti lain yang megah membawa nama penganalisis komputer, pendidik, bakal doktor, bakal akauntan etc pun sama berebut menaiki bas kami.kemudian dengan muka selebet (mungkin terlalu mulia untuk kamu) memandang 'budak2 stadium' ini dengan pandangan 'Korang Memang Takda Masa Depan...' aduihhhh! sedey.
pernah sekali aku melihat pergaduhan depan mata di dalam bas.budak stadium vs budak skool dari mana datang! :) pergaduhan hanya di sebab kan keadaan bas yang dah sempit tp masih hendak memeruk ke dalam.dan di akhir kata ada perkataan 'wei bodoh ke? tak nampak orang lain nak naik????'
wahai incik yang bijak dan pandai, bakal akauntan etc...siapa yang bodoh? :)

cara pembelajaran sudah tentu la berbeza.tidak sekali pun memetik komputer kecuali di dalam lab untuk membuat assignment atau email itu dan ini.kami ada kelas menari (mak yong etc), teater, asas seni lakon etc.sangat menyeronokkan.aku masih ingat diploma part 2 atau 3, kelas BEL (english class) , lecturer kami mr kamal mengajar kami menyanyi lagu sealed with a kiss, dan owh apa ya..oo bladi, o blada, life go on...oooo life goes on!
bukan kah itu sangat menyeronokkan berbanding "ok kelas! hari ni saya nak awak menganalisis peratus nombor bla..bla..bla..."

kami ada kelas kamera, fotografi , visual art...kelas black box.menonton persembahan teater oleh pelajar jurusan teater.kami saling memerlukan.saling membantu.kerana kami sedar kami kecil... :) tapi kami kuat..hihi
kemudian 3 tahun di stadium shah alam, kami di campak ke puncak perdana.memetik kata2 wani ardy di dalam blog nya :


Tambah pula waktu itu fakulti kami di Stadium Shah Alam. Lagilah digelak dek orang. Tapi fikirlah, kalau kamu bersungguh mahu belajar dan kreatif menggunakan apa yang ada, kamu boleh hidup di mana saja. Dibaling ke hutan pun (Puncak Perdana - lokasi fakulti sekarang) kamu takkan tenggelam.



....betul.walau di campak ke mana pun, kami mampu hidup.setiap minggu ada saja acara.dari teater ke screening ke talk show dan sebagainya.kalau anda semua lihat keadaan fakulti kami sekarang [astinya ramai yang mahu pulang ke rumah saja.jauh ke dalam.gelap pula di waktu malam.arhhh! :) tapi apa yang menyebabkan kami kukuh di situ? kerana kami ada kami.kami sentiasa memikirkan seronoknya belajar...ada teman2.ada lecturer2 yang hebat.kami dan pensyarah ibarat kawan2.boleh duduk semeja.boleh minum bersama.what a wonderful moment! :)

oleh itu, aku percaya aku layak di tempat yang sekarang ini.aku dalam bidang ini.kawan2 aku juga dalam bidang ini.walaupun ada yang tersasar tapi aku rasa hati mereka tetap di bidang ini.kalau bukan sekarang...mungkin nanti aja. :)

kepada Tuhan..terima kasih.berbaloi 5 tahun aku belajar memerah akal.menitik ilmu.alhamdulillah tuhan.amin... :)

kepada bekas pelajar fakulti seni persembahan (di stadium shah alam dan kemudiannya ke puncak perdana : Fakulti Teknologi Kreatif Dan Artistik)...percaya la..anda semua sering di pandang umum.cuma mereka tak berani untuk mengiyakan yang kita ini amat penting di dalam hidup mereka.tanpa kita tiada hiburan.cuma matematik dan huruf alphabet! owh so boringggg! :p

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Halloween and the weekend round up......

Halloween was a blast, a little cold but a blast! The kids were super excited to go out trick or treating we had about 6 - 10 kids at any given time going from house to house. At one point Lauren fell and skinned her knee pretty good but I persuaded her to stay with her friends and keep going. Here are some of the wacky pictures from the night.







Thursday and Friday I was in Nashville to do some networking with my husband, he is about to retire after 20 years in the military and he has a bunch of companies that are interested in him and he thinks enough of me and my judgment to ask me to come with him to a conference where all of these folks would be so I could give him my feed back, pretty cool I thought. It looks like he should have some offers in hand this week then make a decision in the next 2. Hopefully, keep your fingers crossed.

Saturday Lauren scored her second soccer goal ever and she was over the moon not only because she scored but because she was the only one from either team that scored. A big deal in her eyes and she doesn't mind telling you about it either.

So today I went for my first run since the 10K I thought my foot was OK but when I got back I realized it wasn't and I now have an appointment to see the Dr tomorrow. I am hoping it isn't bad because I really wanted to run in the Turkey Trot I signed up for on Nov. 15th but I guess we will need to see.

I will be hitting blogs later today as I am home for Parents teacher conference and I twill hopefully be able to eek out some me time for my blog reading.

See you soon!