It has been a little while since I posted my guess is that you understand I have had my hands full getting Lauren and Jackson off to school along with giving hugs, kisses and general love to little Isabelle Grace.
The first few weeks of Isabelle's life seem to be a blur nothing new for most new moms.Isabelle has been a great baby she has made breast feeding a breeze which was not the case for my first 2. Isabelle has also been a good sleeper however mom has not learned after 3 kids that she needs to nap when she naps hence I have been a bit sleep deprived.
Truth be told as happy as I am in a bit of a funk and I have been here before. However this funk unlike others is identifiable to me and I know there is a solution if I choose to reach out for it. See I deal with depression, before becoming pregnant with Isabelle I was being treated for depression and silly and not so responsible me took matters into my own hands and stopped my medication cold turkey because I did not want to subject little Izzy to unneeded drugs.Fortunately for me I did not have a horrible reaction to my discontinuance of the medication even though I did so at a time that my life was in complete turmoil. Job responsibilities, a new pregnancy, Dan retiring from the military on top of daily life was not easy and was no picnic unmediated. Yet I think it has taught me something and that is that it is ok to as for help and not to be ashamed.
Those of you who read here on a regular basis may know I like to stay busy, it really does make me happy and the way I stay busy is usually doing for others, add the fact that I have a huge desire to do everything well (some would say perfect) and well it can be a slippery slope.So here I sit knowing full well I am not super woman but still trying to be her.I am overjoyed to have Isabelle in our lives however I am overwhelmed by my own issues to be perfect and there for everyone and because of that I find myself burning the candle at both ends and hence very sad and very very tired when I should be at a very happy place.
I am happy to say that I have reached out to family and friends as well as my Dr and I hope to be on the road back to my old self of over a year ago, because it has become painfully apparent to me that I am not where I should be mentally and physically my body can not keep up this pace.So there you have it warts and all. The bright side is that I have this wonderful family to pull me through.
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