Vacations

So I was reading the blog by Dawn http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/ who was featured on ABC and got me thinking it was time to put my thoughts down on paper and I see that she is on vacation in FL and there has been less then Fl like weather there during her trip.

I had a similar situation during my way to over hyped (at least in my mind) Long Beach Island NJ Beach trip. A couple years ago we rented a beach house for the first time and did so with 2 other families. One of which we knew and the second who we kinda of knew through a friend. Our youngest turned one while we were there so you can imagine that it was not all good times and relaxing, but nonetheless we had a good time. However we learned that while we like to go on vacation with other families we really don't want to have to share the same living quarters with them. For example when out 1 year old was crying in the middle of the night because he could see us in our room since one of other families insisted that their son be in a room by himself (but I am not bitter) we were not able to just let our son cry himself back to sleep as we would have at home or elsewhere 1) because we were in the room with him and 2) because we had to worry about 8 other people in the house. So we said that in the future if we could afford it was would rent a house only for us with the hopes others might do the same. Well we took a break from Beach vacations in 2006 for money reasons and because we had a new Au pair living with us and we weren't sure we wanted to take her nor were we sure about leaving her in our house all alone for the week We were very green on the whole au pair thing at that point and looking back she was the one to take not the others that followed her.

So this winter I said I want to go back to the beach but I wanted to go to the north east and I wanted to go when someone else we knew (and liked) was going. Shazam my neighbors were going to LBI too. So we coordinated weeks and anxiously counted down. I was so looking forward to this time I knew I would be planted on the beach most of the day toes in the sand watching the kids play and that by 5pm every afternoon I would have a cold corona in my hands. We drive up to Jersey on a Saturday get ourselves l settled and the next morning we wake to RAIN I look at the forecast Rain the rest of the week with a possible break on Thursday! I think OK we have the au pair so we (My husband and I) can still salvage a little time to ourselves and make the best of the rain WRONG!!! our Au pair from brazil first of all spent nearly half of the ride on the cell phone speaking Portuguese. how rude to sit in a car with 5 people and babble in a different language, on my phone using my minutes!! So on Sunday after our 1st and only trip to the beach with the kids I tell my au pair to stay with them while I run up the island when I get back she is sitting in front of the TV with them and on the cell phone again. later that night we go over to our friends house for dinner and she is to watch the kids while we are there she never lifts a finger and again talks on the cell phone. We take her home and tell her that it was not OK to talk on the phone the whole time and not help out or even watch the kids and also clip her wings as far as the extra money we said she could earn because clearly since it is rainig all she is going to do is sit the kids in front of the TV and talk on the phone. By day 5 neither my husband or I can take the rain or her anymore in our tight quarters so we pack up the family and head home. Yes it rained the rest of the week. When I turned my key into the realtor office she looked at me with such a sad face and said I feel sorry for you I thought you have no idea not only did I lose $2800 for a beach house rental I also was ready to send my au pair back to Brazil because she had clearly lost her mind and thought she too was on vacation when she had been briefed that she was not and that this would be work for which she would be paid.

Needless to say she is gone, we ended up telling the agency that she was not working out. We have another vacation planned for November to Disney and I PRAY that it does not rain and the weather cooperates I don't think I could handle another rain out. However I am toying with the idea of going back to Jersey next year only without an au pair.

What a day!!!!

Ok so yesterday was one of those days where as a working mom you close the door to your office an just bawl. Let me explain.

Since the kids were babies we have had them in daycare, we are very fortunate to have a daycare that is part of the federal government due to Dan's Army affiliation. The daycare has been amazing since the day I walked into the place, next to Disney it is the happiest place on earth!!! So while I have always had the pangs of guilt for sending my kids there while I work I knew that they were in great hands. Lauren my oldest has moved on from the center and is now in Kindergarten and I feel that because of the great care as well as good parenting (wink wink) she came to school fully prepared to deal with all that kindergarten had to offer.

My 3 year old also attends this wonderful daycare as well and in late July was moved to his new 3 year old room (although not yet 3 he is the biggest kid in the class) he was doing well with the usual issues when a room and care giver transition occurs. However since September he has been a holy terror or so I am told by teachers in the room. He is very well behaved with me at home so I have been puzzled by these behavior reports.

So yesterday I am in my office and the phone rings I see on the caller ID that it is the daycare and I think OK what happened, did he bump his head, fall off a piece of playground equipment what??? Imagine my surprise when the teacher says to me we cannot get your son to listen so I have him here from you to talk to him. I asked what has happened and she says ask him yourself he is right hear. I proceed to say to my son what is wrong and he tells me he is not listening, I ask why and he says because, I ask him to please put on his listening ears and that we will talk about it when I pick him up, then I ask are you ok? He doesn't answers instead shakes his head I know that only because I hear the teacher say your mom can't see you shake your head. I am crushed because I know that my son is upset because he gets quite and doesn't respond when he thinks he is in trouble.

Now while I understand that threatening to call the parents is needed and should he have hurt another child himself or a teacher a call would seem very appropriate but actually calling me for what I later found out was the teachers inability to get on my sons level (he is 3 not 30 after all ) and talk to him resulted in having me called. As a daycare you would think there would be a overwhelming understanding that as a working mom I am torn every day when I leave to go to work and putting me in a situation where I can clearly do nothing makes life harder for me and my son.

So there I sat after I hung up the phone thinking what a horrible parent I was and that if I weren't working I would not have calls like these and he would somehow be happier and better behaved, (although I am still not convinced that he is doing anything other then what typical 3 year old do) and all would be right with the world.

Then reality hit me in the face like an ocean wave. Wait a minute!!! They spend 8 hours a day with my son, I get 4 if I am lucky and he is great for me. Clearly there is an issue in the room and my son is reacting to it.
So my investigation is on! I am not sure what will come of it and I am surely not naive enough to think my son is saint but it seems rather odd that these calls about my sons behavior just began when a new lead teacher began in September. To be continued.......

Google Eyes

I can't help it everytime I see this picture it makes me laugh!

These glasses were thanks to my sister in law in Albany! my kids can't get enough of them. Happy Hump Day!

Clothes

So I have this calendar that gives me daily antidotes to live by some silly, some serious, some that I would just never do..... but today's struck me because it was really relevant to me yesterday.. sorta! Today's words of wisdom were "get rid of clothes that itch" While I am the first to admit I hate an itchy sweater I usually find that I won't buy clothes that itch because I know I won't wear them much, but then there is the occasional shirt or skirt that I buy without trying on that inevitably ends up being to tight or a hair uncomfortable etc. Then I got to thinking about my outfit yesterday while the fabric was not itchy it was too tight. Yet I hold on to these too tight (in the waist) pants because I spent good money on them .... 2 children ago.... so I got to thinking that the words of wisdom for today should not just be to get rid of the itchy clothes but also the clothes that are just a hair to tight. You know the ones that by the time you get home at the end of the day you are running past the kids saying just give mommy a minute I HAVE to change my clothes!

Take care be well and I will be back soon!

Why???

Ever wonder to yourself why??? Why am I getting up this early, why do I have to work? why am I not as happy as I feel I should be why why why??? Well that is my feeling today. I feel as though I have placed myself in a box that I have no way to get out of. I love working and being able to give my family nice things but honestly it is starting to bring me down I am constantly running from thing to thing. If it isn't a crying child, it's dinner, if it isn't dinner, it's a load of laundry, if not that then one of a million other things. I am readying a book called Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and in it she talks about her time in Italy and how the Italians have no guilt about enjoying life yet we here in America do. As I was listening to the book (because who has the time to read) I thought... guilt for enjoying life, hell I am not even enjoying life how can I have guilt. Boy that says something doesn't it!

I also feel incredible pain right now in my marriage, I love my husband he has helped me to become what I am today but unfortunately in this life of go go go that we have created, he ends up last on the the to do list. Now one might say well that is an easy fix just move him to the top, while I might agree under normal circumstances I feel as though we have become strangers and it is hard to make that kind of change when you aren't sure what the reaction will be or when you know what the reaction will be. Worse yet when you feel that you are both growing apart and don't have the flame there that you once had. The fire that could get you through anything. How do you recapture that? Can you recapture that?

I am looking back at what I have written and I am starting to think I am a prime candidate for some sort of depression drug, scary but maybe that is what I need to put a clearer vision on my life. The idea makes me sad and makes me feel as though I am a failure should I be able to handle life without the need to medicate? Do I just need to make a lifestyle change? But what if that change ends up taking me further down the dark road that I seem to be on? What then? As I have been told there are no do overs in this life and I don't want to misstep, for fear of losing everything.

Have to start somewhere......

So I have been wanting to try my hand at writing for some time now. I am told that when Ia m passionate about something I tend to be a very
good writer, guess the rest of the time I guess I barely get by but no one is bold enough to tell you that!

I am a working mom of 2 Lauren who is 5 and Jackson who is 3, I have been married for 8 1/2 years! Some days it is all I have to throw my legs over the side of the bed and start ground hog day again and again and again! I know you know how I feel! I have gotten to the point where holidays like Veterans and Presidents day are like gold to me not because I am a veteran although I respect the hell out of them especially since i am married to an Army Officer, no I look forward to holiday's like veterans day because it is a 3 day weekend! Don't get me wrong that does not mean no work 3 days weekend just another day to get up later if you call 6:30 later (guess it is compared to my normal wake up of 5:20) enjoy my cup of Joe and linger in my Pj's just a few minutes long then I do the rest of the week!

So here is my hope for the blog! I hope to provide some humor to those parents out there that are in the same ground hog day like spot that I am in. Writing is therapy for me and while you may not like the idea of therapy it is a needed evil for me if i plan to make it to 40 without having a nervous breakdown.

here are some topic I plan to cover int eh coming blogs unless life dictates otherwise!
Au pair (other wise knows as nannies)
Alzheimer's not just for the old anymore
Potty training
Mommy and Daddy time (does this really exist???)
and a host of other issues that I find humours or cathartic!

Send me a comment I want to hear from you!